Most students, at least those who have attended class on a regular basis, have returned from a well-deserved Spring Break. Let's face it, college is not supposed to be easy and it will pave the way for your future success in this world. Unfortunately, lately it seems like getting a piece of the American Dream does not require a college education, it only requires a good body and a bowl of corn flakes.
 The good body belongs to Ashley Alexandra Rae Malika DiPetro Youmans Dupre, a.k.a Kristen the Spitzer prostitute. I guess when you drop out of high school and go to Girls Gone Wild University, you have a lot of extra time to come up with new names. The advantage of Girls Gone Wild University is that it is always Spring Break and instead of having to take out student loans; you get paid to attend classes like, Bikini Top Toss 101 or Advanced Rump Shaking 369. Unfortunately, they do not offer any graduate courses because the typical graduate student is about four years too old to attend GGWU.
 Kristen, at age 22, will likely be a multi-millionaire before the end of the year, if not by the time you read this column. She is a high-school dropout from a broken home and a former prostitute. In contrast, unemployed Eliot Spitzer's father was a real estate tycoon and his mother an English literature professor. Spitzer attended Princeton and Harvard.  Spitzer made $179,000 a year as Governor of New York, which amounts to about $86.00 an hour for a forty-hour workweek. Kristen's "club" grossed $4,300 for an hour with Spitzer and she cleared a $1,000 for an hours work, presumably tax-free. That puts the 22-year-old high school dropout $914 ahead of the 48-year-old Princeton and Harvard grad.
 The result, Krissy gets immunity and Spitzer winds up resigning. It makes you wonder why they could not have at least charged her with tax evasion like they did in the good old days. In retrospect, Spitzer may have been better off working on his curve ball or jump shot if he wanted to become rich and famous. If that didn't work he could write songs like "Love in the Club," from a governors perspective., " Got some friends rollin’ wit you baby .Leaving with your governor let em know that I got you…."
 Of course, we all know that you do not need to be in college four years to write a great hip-hop song or play professional sports, and I guess we have accepted that in our country, but did anyone think a single cornflake could net a fifteen year-old girl $1,350?
 It turns out that a young girl in Virginia found a cornflake the shape of Illinois and decided to list it on eBay. The item was removed because it violated the sites restriction on selling food items. The removal brought more attention to the listing and they listed the item again after a few modifications designed to get around the policy. This has created a virtual cottage industry, with a cornflake, which look like Ben Franklin already surpassing the $400 mark.
 There are some major implications with the new interest in cornflakes. The surge in ethanol production has already increased demand for corn, which has a ripple effect on the economy because corn is also used as feed for cattle. Because of this little girl we may see major inflation on the horizon.
 On the positive side, students may have an increased desire to learn geography and history so they can spot shapes in cornflakes. This will create an increase in the need for social studies teachers and thus give people a reason to go to college.